My first general life post. I think I need to put my thoughts down sometimes to help declutter my mind. Today I’m thinking of my relapse this week with my medication.
I got diagnosed with bi-polar about two years ago. This was after years of hell suffering with what the doctor just believed was clinical depression. But it was clearly so much more than that. Sure, I suffered with depression as I had my low episodes but the highs were fairly frequent too. I used to get really really agitated and snappy and then on other days feel like I was on top of the world. Finally (because I knew what was wrong) I pushed for an appointment with a psychiatrist and he confirmed it. I had bi polar.
I was put on mood stabilisers like I say about a year ago and it’s been nothing but a struggle since then. I’m crappy with routine and self discipline and I always forget to take them. I forgot the last week and I know it’s negligent because what always happens after I miss my pills is that I get a low episode and it’s an extreme low. This relapse was pretty horrid. Me and my long term partner fell out over dinner and I just wouldn’t shut up. I hate myself for it and I’m trying to think of ways to remind myself that I need to take the darn medication. I’ve been with my long term partner for nearly four years. I got diagnosed not long after we got together and despite all the struggles and hardships, he has stood by me and has been mostly fantastic. I know if I don’t fix it soon though I have a real chance of losing him.
I’ve set a daily reminder on my iPhone to see whether that helps at all. 10 p.m each night, just before bed.
Here is to seeing whether I can be discliplined over the next week and take them every day!