Reflection

So, I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar for approximately two years or so now and just reflecting on it. It’s been a hard ass two years. It really has. I was gutted by but also relieved by my diagnosis.
I’d always been an extremely angry person, very destructive, abandonment issues to the core, you name it. For many years. Poor parents!
Originally I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder but a psychiatrist later found that I had been wrongly diagnosed and I had bipolar.
 I am required to take mood stabilisers on a daily basis as some of you know and given the severity of my disorder, I suppose I’ll be on them for life now. I do have periods where I get forgetful and I get erratic in taking them but on the whole, they work fantastically. I have very minor highs, no lows at all and I feel much more stable. I can maintain a job, maintain a relationship and maintain looking after myself as well. Some of which I couldn’t do when I wasn’t medicated. Even things such as getting dressed were incredibly hard to do but I got through.
Without gushing too much and making you bleugh, aside from family, Gillรจs Chevalier has been such a strength and has been my absolute rock. Anyone else would have seen the hard work I was / I am and have walked away. Not Gilles. He is an amazing person and I am so grateful to have my rock and of course my family, his family and my friends. Thank you, all. Wouldn’t be making it throughout life without you.
Reflection over ๐Ÿ˜

Life

Closed my Facebook a few days ago. Had enough of the drama it causes and the feelings it arouses. Because of my bipolar things trigger me sometimes and I feel I’m better off without it. Not missing it at all and am grateful for the extra time I have to write on here or post pictures on my instagram / pin on Pinterest.

Currently feeling very under the weather. Sore throat still and a nasty cough still. Luckily I have my best friend. You would have seen occasional pics of her before but I thought I’d post a few up to introduce her properly. This is Polly โค๏ธ

My snuggle monster. She is such a cuddly dog it’s unbelievable!

Here we are snuggling:again! Lol

Her cute face ๐Ÿ˜˜

Polly the Westie. She is 4 and a half years old and was the runt of the litter so for a Westie. She’s tiny. She’s my absolute best friend.

Since I’ve been ill she’s been snuggling up to under the blanket for like forever bless her.  ๐Ÿ˜

Anyway time to shower and sleep I think. It’s nearly 11 am here but I am far to ill to be thinking about getting up so for now night night.

Life


So I woke up this morning feeling absolutely rotten. I have a sore throat, a nasty cough and I feel exhausted. So it’s time to spend time with my favourite things (Westies and books) ๐Ÿ˜€ On call tonight as well so hoping with a bit of rest I’ll feel better for that in case I get called out! I’m sure I’d nothing else cuddles with Polly will make me feel a little better!

Life

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted about either of my favourite subjects, books or bakes!

There is a reason for this. I’ve started Slimming World so I’ve had to put the unhealthy cakes on hold for the time being, probably in fact until I reach my target weight unless it’s a slimming world casks. It’s working as I’ve lost nearly nine pounds in three weeks so I don’t want to jeapordise my weight loss. I’m sure I’ll find some syn free or low syn recipes though so I’m sure I’ll be back to it soon.

I’m also going through a reading slump. Nothing seems to be pulling me out of it. I’m trying a new book tonight; hopefully that will work if not I’ll have to just ride it out until the reading funk is over with

I’m trying to read this


Right, time to try and read! Night night peeps! 

Daily life postย 

It’s been a manic few weeks really since I last posted a post like this.

Work in my business has really picked up. It’s been absolutely unbelievable. Prior to this, it was virtually dead so I applied for a caseworker job for the police.

I had a job interview for the Police force local to me. It was competency based. It was pretty horrific. It went atrociously! Never again I said it but I’ve seen a job for National Crime Agency which looks fantastic so I am going to apply for that. Fingers crossed!

My bi polar has been behaving itself. I’ve put my pills by the kettle so every time I make a coffee in the morning I pretty much take them there and then. So no bi polar relapses as such. I do wonder whether my doseage is 100% as I still get a bit snappy. I don’t know how I’d feel about them being upped though. I don’t want to be all zombified!

Apart from that, I joined a running course. To learn to run. Had no joy. Full of cliques and stuff. Keep getting pain on calfs so I need to go to a doctor really. Didn’t feel like I fit in though so I’ve pulled out. I’ll maybe join another one when I’ve resolved the problem.

Relapse- daily life post 1

My first general life post. I think I need to put my thoughts down sometimes to help declutter my mind. Today I’m thinking of my relapse this week with my medication.

I got diagnosed with bi-polar about two years ago. This was after years of hell suffering with what the doctor just believed was clinical depression. But it was clearly so much more than that. Sure, I suffered with depression as I had my low episodes but the highs were fairly frequent too. I used to get really really agitated and snappy and then on other days feel like I was on top of the world. Finally (because I knew what was wrong) I pushed for an appointment with a psychiatrist and he confirmed it. I had bi polar.

I was put on mood stabilisers like I say about a year ago and it’s been nothing but a struggle since then. I’m crappy with routine and self discipline and I always forget to take them. I forgot the last week and I know it’s negligent because what always happens after I miss my pills is that I get a low episode and it’s an extreme low. This relapse was pretty horrid. Me and my long term partner fell out over dinner and I just wouldn’t shut up. I hate myself for it and I’m trying to think of ways to remind myself that I need to take the darn medication. I’ve been with my long term partner for nearly four years. I got diagnosed not long after we got together and despite all the struggles and hardships, he has stood by me and has been mostly fantastic. I know if I don’t fix it soon though I have a real chance of losing him.
I’ve set a daily reminder on my iPhone to see whether that helps at all. 10 p.m each night, just before bed.

Here is to seeing whether I can be discliplined over the next week and take them every day! 

Yas 

Xoxoxox

Introduction!

bakingpic

My name is Yas!

I’m a 29 year old lawyer from Staffordshire in the UK.

I’ve recently taken up a new hobby, baking and gotten more into my old hobby of reading and books now I’ve gone self employed and have more time on my hands so I thought why not set up a blog! I have every other form of social networking, I just need this! ๐Ÿ˜€

I’ll be reviewing books, posting pics of my latest bakes and food (I want to personally see how I develop as a cook/baker as I’m considering a career change) and have a general occasional post about life or so.

Hope you enjoy!

Yas

xoxox